I Have To Do WHAT To King Bhumibol?
When a game requires you to defecate on a sitting monarch, you have to wonder how long it’s going to be before the game’s creator winds up in a deep hole somewhere. Thus, it’s hard to say how long the guys behind “You Have To Defecate Upon King Bhumibol” will be around.
Billed as “a complete ripoff of Mazapan’s IGF-nominated “You Have To Burn The Rope” (which was also, by the way, surprisingly fun)”, “You Have To Defecate Upon King Bhumibol” is almost a new low in gaming. Essentially, all you will do is negotiate your way through a tunnel. You’ll be attacked by no enemies, but you can throw your hat if you like at the vast among of nothing charging at you at any given time. At the end of the tunnel is “a certain Thai royalty”, ostensibly the titular King Bhumibol. You will then have to position yourself directly above the king, which releases a large quantity of brown sludge onto the enormous (relative to your character) King Bhumibol.
Doing this gives you the sublime reward of a song, briefly describing the game and admonishing us all to free someone called Harry Nicolaides.
This of course results in “You Have To Defecate Upon King Bhumibol” being perhaps the single funniest and yet most utterly pointless game I’ve played in some time. All I can say is, I’m glad it was free, because if I actually had to fork over money for this drivel I would’ve unleashed a large quantity of something on the creators’ heads. It would be rage, of course. Not human waste.