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Oh no you didn’t. Didn’t you, oh no?

You didn’t pay me what you owe me, and now it’s over for you.

Chances are good you recognize those two lines from one of the strangest video game promotions of all time, the ads for Mercenaries 2: World in Flames.  Not since a boy’s father attempted to molest Lara Croft in an autograph signing line and believed he was buying a “Siggie” has video game advertising been quite so strange.  But we’re not here to talk about the vaguely operatic advertising–we’re here to talk about the game.

The plot of which is fairly simple–you play one of three mercenaries (a tough Swede that regenerates health faster, a big, strong black guy who can carry more ammo and a sprightly Asian girl who runs the fastest) who’s just been royally screwed over on a contract in Venezuela.  Naturally, that sort of thing is bad for business, and thus you’ve engaged your own services in trying to get payback on an epic scale, writ large across the very face of the oil-rich country.  In doing so, you’ll have to balance your public perception and your perception of several different factions, all with a vested interest in Venezuela, including an oil conglomerate and a group of oddly Marxist rebels getting funding straight from the People’s Republic of China.

I’ll say up front that if you played and enjoyed the original Mercenaries game, then its sequel will be a thrill for you that’s downright unfathomable.  It’s a step up in virtually every way, with more weapons and more things to do and more things to blow up and everything else right on down the line.  The game looks better, plays better and sounds better than the original, which looked, played and sounded pretty nice to begin with.  You also get a better variety of vehicles–I definitely don’t remember the option to drive motorcycles in the first Mercenaries, and I certainly enjoyed the new addition.  And there’s always, of course, plenty of atavistic thrill involved in running amok with a large quantity of automatic weapons and a panoply of explosives.  That’s just always fun.

But there’s a down side to what I just said: if you found the first Mercenaries game to be one long half-baked series of chases and stupid fetch quests one after the other, then you’re going to hate the new Mercenaries game.  Seriously–I can understand anyone who says that this game got dull and predictable after a while, because most of what you’ll do will be go here, shoot everybody or almost everybody in sight, recover something / destroy something, return to base, repeat until nauseous or you’ve thrown your controller at the screen in sheer frustration for the sheer amount of monotony that you’ve just subjected yourself to and I WANT THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK YOU MISERABLE CHEATING BASTARD OF A GAME YOU!!

But for me, I enjoyed it.  I had a good idea where I was going at any given time.  Most of my quests I could either finish first try or within the first couple, anyway.  There were some unpleasant surprises that, had I known about, I would’ve played some quests differently.  Even better, the game even manages to pack some humor into its proceedings.  Don’t believe me?  Wait for Universal Petroleum to send you after The Devastator and just see if you don’t laugh.

There is a lot to like about Mercenaries 2: World in Flames.  I’ll readily admit there’s plenty to not like, also, but for a week of great gaming, I’d count on Mercenaries 2: World in Flames in a heartbeat to provide.  A great rental, if not necessarily a great purchase.