How funny would it be if you could have your Xbox 360 Avatar with a beer in its hand while wearing a man thong? Pretty damn funny, right? According to Microsoft, no, not funny at all.

The company has recently given the XNA developer community a list of rules that Avatars must abide by if the developers so choose to use them. The list encompasses pretty much everything you would think, no alcohol, tobacco, vulgarity, criminal acts, profanity, the works. However, the fact that they can’t and can’t have a personality shows that Microsoft is forming a connection between the Avatar and the player.

I don’t really blame Microsoft for this one because, as all Halo 3 Xbox Live players are sure to have found out, kids do use the service

Full list, courtesy of Destructoid, after the break.

Player interacts with their avatar as if it’s a separate character
A player’s avatar does not have an autonomous personality or instinct. The avatar is under the control of the owning player. It can have idle animations and can respond appropriately to game events but it should not interact with the user as if it is separate from the player, try to get the player’s attention in an annoying manner.

Violence which causes blood, gore, dismemberment, decapitation, maiming, or mutilation
Cartoon violence is allowed. Violence is allowed as long as there is no blood, gore, dismemberment, decapitation, maiming, or mutilation. An example of allowable injuries includes injuries that might befall an avatar in a sporting event such as American football. Avatars can die temporarily to depict failure.

Player’s avatar talks
The player’s avatar should not have their own voice. They are allowed to make individual sounds, such as laughing and crying but otherwise cannot use a voice.

Acts of sexual innuendo or mildly explicit sexual descriptions or images or sexual posturing
Sexual acts or terminology cannot be insinuated or enacted.

Excretes obscene bodily fluids or substances
No sexual or bodily fluids or substances can come from the avatar.

Glamorized criminal act
Criminal activities need to be relevant to the story and are presented unfavourably.

Acts of an aggressive or threatening manner
Gratuitous insults, bullying, intimidation or otherwise violent or emotional abuse of a position of power are not allowed. Avatars may leave innocents or bystanders slightly injured, but not dead.

Vulgar or profane act
Game-controlled avatars cannot use profane, racist, or discriminatory language, nor can they make obscene gestures.

Use of controlled substances
An avatar is not allowed to hold, be seen around or partake in any controlled substances or paraphernalia including, but not limited to, alcohol, tobacco and drugs.

Replace Avatar features
The features of an avatar cannot be hidden or in obscured and cannot be replaced with alternative items. Items such as, but not limited to, masks, hats and alternative clothing, are not allowed.

Avatars proportions are not modified
The proportions of an Avatar cannot be modified form their original settings. An Avatar can be resized as long as the proportions don’t change.

Now before you US-ers get too excited (because we all know anything to do with Microsoft’s 360 avatars are so exciting) please note that the recently released shirts for your avatars will probably only appeal to Europeans.

ANYWAYS, Microsoft released yesterday a whole pack of football (soccer) shirts, dubbed the European National Football Teams collection,complete with little tiny country flags on them that you can barely see, oh boy!

The following countries made the cut:

Austria
Belgium
Denmark
England
Finland
France
Germany
Ireland
Italy
Netherlands
Northern Ireland
Norway
Portugal
Scotland
Spain
Sweden
Switzerland
Wales

Read (Kotaku)

They’re all free and will be available for your customizing needs the next time you connect to Xbox live.

Male
Blue Tuxedo
Black Tuxedo
Shirt with Cummerbund
Black Trilby
Bowler Hat

Female
Elegant Ball Gown
Little Black Dress
Formal Trouser Suit
Elegant Watch
Red 60’s Shades
Strappy High Heels
Platform Shoes

More interesting than the demo, however, is word that it offers several pre-made avatars to choose from, offering a glimpse at the upcoming Xbox 360 avatars that will be included in New Xbox Experience next month. Players will be able to create their own avatars once the NXE update lands November 19.

The game is set for release on October 28 and will be sold with a specialized big button controller for $60, or $40 without the game.

This was disclosed by Xbox Live general manager Eric Kilgore, who added that the restriction may change in the future.

“We are still developing the final policies,” he said. “The final guide we have this year is to think of them in an ‘E10′ context. That doesn’t mean it won’t change—but this Fall they won’t be able to blow each other’s heads off.”

He also noted that the company is currently exploring various implementations of the avatar date, noting that they can be incorporated as full 3D models or 2D images in networks outside of Xbox Live, including Facebook and other social networking sites.

Remember those rumors about a huge Dashboard update for the Xbox 360? During Microsoft’s press conference, it was proven to be true, all of it. Everything from avatars, to the “minority report” interface, etc; were all demoed at the conference. Even the old Netflix partnership rumor was proven factual at the event. Each of the features will be described in detail after the jump.

#1 Avatars

Out of all the rumors and speculation, the avatars seemed the most likely to be true. Sure enough, they were. The avatars are more customizable Miis. They are not like more customizable Miis, they are more customizable Miis. Microsoft and Rare didn’t even bother to make them more realistic. They avatars look, move, and serve the same purpose, as the Miis do. They will act as your visual representation in Xbox Live. Unlike Miis, however, Microsoft has apparently designed the avatars so that they can be implemented into any game a developer may want. Microsoft also announced that clothing and accessories for the avatars will be made available as content. Seeing as how they did not specifically state that the extra content would be available for free, I believe it is safe to assume that they will be accessible for a fee. The avatars also serve an important role in other features that will be explained later on in the article.

#2 Dashboard Renovation

Somehow the term update just doesn’t define the change that will be made to the Xbox 360 come fall. The new version of the Dashboard is completely different from the current one. The blades have been replaced with cover-flow pages which act similar to the iPhone interface. The new Dashboard definitely looks much more intuitive, and while it is more effective than the blades, I’m not sure it’s the most practical interface. The problem was not with the blades, but how they were organized. The new interface is definitely organized better, but whether it’s the best design remains to be seen. All in all, it does seem to have a good balance in ease of use and eye-candy.

#3 Party

In addition to the avatars and the Dashboard, Microsoft took the liberty of beating Home at it’s own game. Of all the updates, this one is, in my opinion, the smartest. The party system allows Xbox 360 owners to see the Miis- the avatars of the friends who are online. From what was shown, it seems that a chat bubble will display the name of the friend. Once a friend is highlight, the chat bubble displays what they are doing. Users can invite up to eight friends into a “party”. Here is where it gets interesting. The interaction that users have through the party system is simplistic, yet very, very effective. The example shown was the party leader displaying pictures, which were streamed to the other members. Netflix videos can be shared in a similar way. The party leader can decide other activities to do, such as play an Xbox Live Arcade game, or a retail game. There was is also a trivia game feature being added which allows “parties” to participate in popular game shows from their dashboard. Simple, no “homes” no virtual living rooms etc;

We will provide more information as it becomes available. For now, the Dashboard update will be released in the fall, no specific date has been released as of yet.