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Race Pro Game Review–Like Driving A Brick Through Wet Cement

Yes, it’s yet another in a long, long, LONG series of racing games currently available for the Xbox 360.  This time, we’re talking about Race Pro, a game that breathlessly promises to be “the ultimate racing simulation experience”, and I’m sure that is the case on planets where no one has discovered driving, video games, the internal combustion engine or the wheel.

That’s the thrust of the review today, folks–this IS in fact the ultimate racing simulation experience if you’ve either never actually had a racing simulation experience before or you’ve never actually driven anything before.

Basically, the plot of the game, such as it is, is exactly that. You’re going to drive cars.  No, this doesn’t exactly have the same literary quality of Ridge Racer’s young up-and-comer looking to burn his way through the ranks of the professional driving circuit, or the various underground racers where you’re out to gather pinks and impress hot chicks who like to wave flags half-naked for little or no conceivable reason.  You’re just here to go fast and turn left, except for when, on occasion, you will be called upon to turn RIGHT.

You may be asking yourself at this point, hey, if that’s all I’m supposed to do, then why even bother?  I mean, if I wanted to be stuck in traffic for twenty minutes while I tried to drive a car down a twisty, windy track, then why don’t I just jump in my car and actually, you know, go somewhere?  At least then everybody on the Internet’ll stop calling me a basement dweller because I haven’t left the house in months.

Sadly, I don’t have much of an answer for that.  Oh, sure, with Race Pro you’ll get to try out various different kinds of cars, on various different types of tracks, with various different types of options.  I give Race Pro due credit for having an almost OBSCENE number of options–not only can you tweak the difficulty, you can also tweak subclasses of the difficulty as well.  For instance, if you’re racing on hard mode and find the AI’s just a little TOO aggressive with the competing drivers, you can actually dial down the racers’ AI difficulty level.  It’s an absolutely customizable racing experience.

Absolutely customizable, yes…but worthwhile?  That’s where I’m going to have to say no.  I had SERIOUS problems with the controls on this one–even something that should be video-game simple, the drift maneuver, I couldn’t manage to pull off.  In fact, driving the Mini Cooper in the first level felt exactly like the headline described, like driving a brick through wet cement.  I remember trying to pull off a turn, so naturally, I decelerate so I can jam on the gas after I’ve started to pitch my nose a bit.  The car promptly decides that it prefers going straight, and thusly goes COMPLETELY OFF THE TRACK and into the dirt.  The game then warns me that I’m “cutting track”, to which I respond with a torrent of obscenities detailing the fact that, one, I already KNOW I’m off the track and, two, that I wouldn’t have been if the game had done what it was told to do in the first place.

This is, of course, profoundly irritating, but there’s probably a workaround if you’re desperate enough for a new racing game to try.  I personally say that there are better racing games out there–vastly better, in fact–but if you want a driving sim that’ll give you a huge fight, then Race Pro is the game you want.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Game Review–Better Than Its Predecessor

The punchline on that headline is, better than its predecessor, but not by much.

I had to admit, after the sludgy wreck that was the original Transformers game, I wasn’t expecting much of anything out of its sequel.  It’s a general rule, at least in movie circles, that the sequel is almost never better than its predecessor.  In fact, a lot of games behave that way too–how many people played Resident Evil 2, for example, and were disappointed to discover that the house would have nothing to do with what they were playing?  I was, and I doubt I was alone.  Not that it wasn’t fun, it just wasn’t the same.

However, in the case of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the fact that it isn’t the same actually works in its favor.

This time, you’re once again put in the role of either the Autobots or the Decepticons (you’ll get to choose when you start a new game).  Megatron’s been long since blasted and the Allspark is just plain old out of the picture, but the Decepticons aren’t exactly curling up and dying since losing their leader.  In fact, if Michael Bay was actually paying attention for twenty seconds to the source material for a change he’d have realized that everybody’s favorite obsequious toady Air Commander Starscream was probably waiting for a moment like this with baited breath.  Anyway, old Megatron may not be as dead as everyone thought, and this is all badly timed for the Autobots, who now find themselves not only taking on the still very active Decepticons but also trying to protect Spike Witwicky and dealing with the arrival of a mysterious object from space that looks like it might tip the rather fragile balance of power squarely into the hands of the Decepticons.

So this time, you’ll be launching back into a full-on action title just like the last one, only this time you’ll also get RPG elements on the side.  You’ll run and jump and blast things and even occasionally fly, all in the name of pounding Decepticon chassis and protecting humanity.  When you do break open a Decepticon, you’ll collect actual Energon cubes that can be collected and used to buy options and expansions between stages.  Those would be the RPG elements, an interesting way to shake up otherwise predictible gameplay (do you add on to your maximum health first, or do you focus on your gunnery?) and a downright welcome addition.  Oh, and those rare times you’re allowed to fly?  Great fun.

This time around, however, there are some new problems.  For instance, battling in Singapore I found it rather difficult to keep track of where my enemies were at any given time.  They had a tendency to blend in with the many buildings, and, despite the radar, it was tough to tell if they were at ground level or running along rooftops. And if so, WHICH rooftops were they on?  Also, I definitely didn’t like the new transform mode, where now you hold down a button to remain in your vehicle form and release it to come out.  The problem is, the button you have to hold down is your throttle button.  Thus, in order to slow and go around corners you MUST use the brake.  There’s no other option.

So yes, it’s true–Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a vastly better experience than its predecessor, with a deeper storyline and deeper gameplay and some really fun flight scenes.  However, it’s far from perfect, and thus should only be intended for those who really enjoy Transformer games or clearly action-based games.

Mario Kart Wii Game Review–Time For Hyperbole

I’m generally not given to hyperbole, especially in the headlines of pieces I write, but there’s just no other way to put this.  Mario Kart Wii, for the Wii, may well be the best racing game I’ve played yet.

There really isn’t much of a plot here to speak of, but basically, you play as one of the various characters from the Nintendo universe, from King Boo to Wario to Diddy Kong and all the way back around to the standards.  You’ll then mount a go kart, or a motorcycle, at three varying levels of engine power and proceed to run amok on a series of wild tracks.

That may be it for the plot–and yes, by any standard this game has virtually no functioning narrative to speak of–but that’s not it for the game itself.  The game itself, you see, is a riot of fun things to do as you drive your go kart or motorcycle on a panoply of tracks with all sorts of different designs.

There’s a whole lot of fun involved in driving through a shopping mall (the Coconut Center) at breakneck speeds, whether you’re doing it on a go kart, or the admittedly much more fun motorcycle.  Seriously–who here hasn’t pictured the sheer amount of mindless fun involved in riding a dirt bike through a mall?  Bouncing up stairs and escalators, jumping fountains, tearing around columns in a beautiful slalom?  It’s fun on a bun, that’s what it is, plain and simple.  Though I have to admit, my time spent driving on the Rainbow Road left a lot to be desired.  Just try driving on a track several hundred miles above the Earth’s surface with no rails or anything else to keep you on the track and a whole bunch of lunatic drivers looking to get ahead of you?  I still get chills.

The controls are what make this really special.  If you don’t want to shell out for the Wii wheel, which is pretty ridiculous when you look at it, then you can simply hold your Wiimote like a steering wheel at nine and three and steer that way.  The controls are almost shockingly smooth and responsive, if a little twitchy at the higher engine levels, and do a pretty solid job of approximating actual steering.

Even better, there are tons of characters and karts and bikes and tracks and everything else that you can think of available to unlock, so there’s lots of value in charging around all the various tracks in single player mode.  For the completionists in the audience this will be an absolute nirvana.  There are those who’ll be turned off by the fact that the unlockables are only available in single player mode as opposed to any of them being found in the multiplayer modes, but this is a fairly small issue when compared to the sheer amount of stuff to do here.

It’s great to find a Wii game that has plenty to it and doesn’t result in a sore arm or a general feeling of disappointment, and Mario Kart Wii is just that game.  Single player or multiplayer, you’re sure to have a good time with this one if you even vaguely enjoy a good racing game.

Zoom Game Review–One Big Flat Tire

Zoom, one of the latest additions to the Xbox Live community gaming lineup, is a game that’s a fantastic idea but also a game that shows how important it is to execute a good idea correctly.

Zoom is a racing game that puts you, alone, on a track in a high-powered hover racer to see just how fast you can go.  And as the world speeds by around you, you’re out to break your own high score on a nearly continual basis.

This sounds awesome, of course–why would anyone play a racing game if they weren’t out for the vicarious thrill of the simulation of high speed without having to risk their lives doing it in an actual car?  But the problem with Zoom is that it can’t hold its speed, and with sloppy controls leaving you bucking around the track even when you’re not actually accelerating, that’s never a good sign.

So as much as I want to enjoy this particular high-speed thrill ride, it never really gets off the starting line for me.  Even at two hundred Microsoft points, it’s not worth the ride.

Midnight Club: Los Angeles–Option Overload

It’s hard to make a driving game fun.  Really it is—I mean, what do you do in a driving game besides jam your foot down on the accelerator and occasionally turn the wheel?  But Midnight Club: Los Angeles is going to try its level best to pull it off.

But will it succeed?

Midnight Club: Los Angeles really doesn’t have much in the way of plot—you’re a new street racing soul who’s just hit Los Angeles—a surprisingly realistic Los Angeles– looking to make the big scores.  And to that end, you’ll…well…jam your foot down on the accelerator and occasionally turn the wheel.  Repeatedly. Over and over and over again.

I know, it’s a graphic oversimplification, but at the root that’s exactly what you’ll be doing.  Of course, since what you’re doing is kinda sorta technically criminal…you’ll be doing this in the most underground, often criminal of fashions.  You’ll be introduced to the world of illegal Los Angeles street racing by a guy named Booke, who sets up your races via officially licensed T-Mobile Sidekick cell phone.  And you’ll eventually get hooked up with a few others, including Karol, who’ll offer you use of a garage as a safehouse; Annie, one of the best drivers in Los Angeles; and Andrew, a young man with a lot more enthusiasm than good sense.

Now, that’s not where this game ends, though—Midnight Club: Los Angeles will make up for its incredibly simplistic game play (like I said, foot, accelerator, wheel turns slightly) by offering you an INCREDIBLY vast array of options.  It’s downright unsettling just how many options there are.

First, you’ll be able to, eventually, choose from a whole lineup of cars.  Muscle cars, exotic cars (including a Ford, which surprised me…the Ford GT, specifically), something called a “tuner”, which strangely included a PONTIAC, and a motorcycle.  Now, once you’ve got your base ride finally settled on, you’ll then be able to launch into a series of options.  Everything from paint and body work down to the very floor mats will be available for your selection.  No, seriously—you can CUSTOMIZE THE FLOOR MATS.

But there’s a not inconsiderable down side to the whole affair.  While you’re given a whole wide field of options—probably too many options for the kind of game you’re playing—you’re going to have to grapple with an intense initial level of difficulty.  The car you’ll start with isn’t exactly the best car.  The car I wound up with handled like a brick with wings, and trying to win those early races was pretty tough, even at the easiest levels of racing.  Traffic got uncomfortably dense in a lot of places, and all I can think is, how am I supposed to win a race when I’ve got all these Sunday drivers and commuters out at Ridiculous O’Clock at night?  It doesn’t even make SENSE, seriously.

But still—if you can’t get enough of modifying your car or motorcycle, and are desperate to take it through the streets of a shockingly realistic simulation of Los Angeles, then Midnight Club: Los Angeles is going to be EXACTLY what you’re after.  Otherwise, try a rental or take a pass.

The Godfather II Game Review–New Features Aren’t Always Good

I’ll start this one off by saying that I was a huge fan of the original Godfather game. There was plenty to do, lots of variety—some driving, some killing, some strangling, some blowing stuff up and of course the sheer joy of watching the Corleone family crest occupy steadily more of the map.  I loved cruising Brooklyn and Hell’s Kitchen and Midtown and all those other great landmarks.  I came to know that I COULD take Broadway to get back to Corleone turf, and I even began to wonder if, thanks to this game, I might be so lost the next time I hit New York.  Sure, that’s probably a fool’s conclusion, but it’s potentially valid.

So why was I vaguely disappointed by the sequel?  Let’s take a look.

You kick things off down in Cuba as Dominic, the underboss to Aldo Trapani, the character you played in the previous Godfather.  Things are good, and times in Cuba could not look better—until the president is overthrown and Communism rears its ugly head.  This is, after all, 1958, and we’re in the midst of a cold war.  With Cuba no longer an option, the various crime families turn their attention back to New York, and that’s where you come in.  You’ll be out to muscle out the other crime families and make the various business safe for a Corleone to run, and you’ll do just that in New York, Florida, and eventually back down to Cuba to try and recover a stake in the once lost empire.

Don’t get me wrong here—I liked Godfather II.  There was a whole lot to like about it, what with the various things to do and all.  I could do pretty much everything I could do in the original Godfather and more.  In fact, the biggest new addition is an element of strategy called The Don’s View, a sort of map by which you can determine your next move constantly.  You’ll assign guards to take and hold fronts, and those guards cost—it comes out of your budget.  But each front you take and hold has various modifiers; bulletproof vests, cost adjustments to hiring guards, expanded clip sizes for your guns, so on and so forth.  Plus you can use it like a map, setting waypoints to guide you more easily to your next assault, or helping you find the business that’s under attack by a rival mob family.

So with so much more substance than the original, why am I disappointed?  Well, first off, I’m not terribly happy about the driving physics.  These cars felt like they were wallowing when I drove them—not so the first Godfather game, which offered me very smooth rides in the nicest cars, and even the midrange sedans weren’t that balky.  I also resent being forced to have a crew along—there are actually some buildings you won’t be able to get into, some missions you can’t accomplish, without having a crew member with a certain specialty in tow.  You can’t even break into a safe without a safecracker any more—used to be, one stick of TNT would do the job.  Now, no burglar, no payday.

I am a little disappointed by some of the new additions—it makes the game just a bit more cumbersome than it needs to be—but still, there’s plenty to do, and plenty of action, and all of it so much like the original that it’s not that bad.  There’s a lot to like here, and I definitely had a good time—you should too.

Wheelman Game Review–Go Fast. Turn Left. Repeat Until Disgusted.

Oh, Vin Diesel–you’d cash in on just about anything, wouldn’t you?  In all seriousness, though, I’ve got a lot of respect for the guy. He’s a halfway decent actor, most of the time, and I can’t help but find it interesting that Vin Diesel has once again defied standard conventions.  We’ve all seen game-to-movie translations, and we’ve all seen the converse, movie-to-game translations.  We’ve even seen some movies that we KNEW would eventually be games, and vice versa.  But this may be the first time I’ve seen a game that looks for all the world like it was SPECIFICALLY INTENDED to be converted into a movie, and probably starring its lead voice actor.

The game in question is called Wheelman, and it’s all about Vin Diesel, who this time appears as a guy named Milo, who works for a group called the Agency.  Milo’s specialty is driving really fast and really recklessly, which makes him an excellent resource for those who need quick getaways and to do so while evading pursuit.  And since Milo’s not working for celebrities, his talents seem tailor-made for the criminal element.  Thus, Milo finds himself working for the criminal element in Barcelona, Spain…and you’ll have to do a lot of wild driving, recovering stolen cars, making friends and influencing people, and a whole slew of other things just to keep yourself from getting shot by the various criminals you both work for and work against.  Seems Barcelona has a LOT of criminal factions, and when you help one, you hinder the other, and these are not guys who enjoy being hindered.

The best part is, after looking up a little information about it, this is indeed the case.  Vin Diesel will be reprising his role as Milo in the film adaptation, which was originally slated to be released alongside the game, but since I’m talking about the game and have only just heard of the movie, this doesn’t seem to be the case.  Unless, of course, you count Fast and Furious, but I don’t.

The game itself, meanwhile, is fun enough to play.  It’s one gigantic adrenaline rush that really took me by surprise.  It is a very faithful capture, at least as far as I can tell without actually instigating a high-speed police chase myself, of the way it feels to drive down the streets of Barcelona at a hundred-plus miles per hour while being followed by the cops and taking time out, occasionally, to slam into them.  Yes, it’s a great deal of surprising fun to drive through buildings, or to make a preposterous jump from a six-story office window, or pull PIT (pursuit intervention tactics) maneuvers on cops.  But let’s face facts, folks—at the end of the day, this is a driving game, only this and really nothing more.  Surprising fun it may be, but surprising fun for how long?  There’s the million dollar question.

Much like NASCAR, it’s just “go fast and turn left”, though occasionally, in Wheelman, you will be called upon to turn RIGHT.  There are different types of missions, of course, but they’ll mostly be accomplished behind the wheel or occasionally handlebars.  On very rare occasions you will be permitted to LEAVE THE CAR.  So if you’re into driving games, then this one will definitely blow your mind with the addition of an actual plot.  Those who hate driving games, however, will find absolutely nothing to like here.

Saints Row 2 Game Review–All The Fun of the First And Then Some

If you were anything like me when you first laid hands on a copy of Saints Row, you enjoyed it, but found that it was a little bit lacking somehow.  So that having been said, you’ll definitely be happy to hear that Saints Row 2 has solved that problem.

Saints Row 2 represents a massive leap forward in sequels, which by itself is somewhat amazing.  It’s kept all the fun from the original, all the ease of use and all the fun drives and all the gunplay, and added a whole host of new and interesting things to do in Stilwater.  Like what, you ask?  Well, I’ll fill you in on that particular point in a minute…but first, the plot.

It’s five years after you blew up the yacht in Saints Row, and you’ve woken up in a prison hospital ward.  Stilwater has changed a lot in five years, and you’ll discover just how much when you finally break out of prison.  Yes, of COURSE your first task is to break out of prison.  From there, you’ll spring former cohort Johnny Gat off Death Row, reassemble the currently defunct Third Street Saints and re-take Stilwater from the Brotherhood, the Ronin, and the Sons of Samedi as well as the shadowy Ultor Corporation.

See what I mean?  Bigger.  Much, MUCH, bigger—one whole faction bigger, to start with.  Plus, you’ll get a panoply of new and fun activities to take part in on the side.  You’ll get to pose as one of Stilwater’s finest to help the show Fuzz (clearly a parody of Cops, in case you wondered) get its episode count finished.  You’ll get to take control of a septic truck and spew loads of human sewage on a collection of targets.  You’ll even get to suit up in a flame suit and drive a four-wheeler through a series of challenges.  They call that one “Trail Blazing”.  How awesome is that?

That’s not a rhetorical question, either.  I know EXACTLY how awesome it is, and it’s pretty awesome, especially since the flame suit blows up cars on contact.  You get extra time for doing that.  You’ll get a wide array of vehicles to drive around Stilwater, too—it’s not just cars and trucks any more.  One mission requires you to handle a tow truck.  You’ll get mopeds and motorcycles, and even get to spend some time in a helicopter.

And it’s not just about the new, either.  The respect system is back in play, and you’ll get also get the steadily advancing hatred meters too, telling you just how much each faction currently wants you dead on the hoods of their many, many cars.  Basically, just about everything you may have loved from Saints Row is back in Saints Row 2, plus a whole bunch of other stuff that you never imagined you’d get the chance to love.

Two words: Chainsaw.  Flamethrower.  Oh yeah…that’s plenty to love.

But it’s not all joy around here—I had some oddly buggy moments in Saints Row 2, including objectives that wouldn’t seem to be met despite the fact that I was doing them right, and one moment in which a flood of infinite enemies kept charging at me while I was trying to finish a mission.  I’d been snuck up on several times, and I really don’t like blasting someone with a rocket launcher just to have the FBI drive a van into my lower back.  It spoils the atavistic thrill.

But still, there’s a LOT to like about Saints Row 2, and if you’re any kind of fan of action shooters, you’ll probably like this one just as much as I did.