Posts Tagged ‘Kongregate Games’
Colourshift Game Review–A Colorful Puzzler That’ll Make You Scream
There are puzzle games, and then there are puzzle games that make you want to scream and throw things at your monitor. Colourshift is one such game, now available to play on Kongregate.
The concept is simple enough–move tiles around to complete circuits of color. And in the beginning, it’s as simple as it sounds. But where it gets downright difficult is when you’ll be required, around level 4, to do color blends. It’s not enough to just link up blue and yellow, no sir–you’ll have to do a GREEN linkage, running circuits of yellow AND blue simultaneously. And when that particular complication is introduced into the mix, the game goes from relatively easy puzzler to total mindbender.
Colourshift will either make you hate puzzle games entirely or make you feel proud enough of yourself to burst as you beat a level. If you’re a sense of accomplishment junkie, then Colourshift is your new drug of choice.
Do You Fell Lucky today ???? Game Review–A Nightmare On Grammatical And Gameplay Fronts
Congratulate me, kids, because I may have found the single most pointless new game on Kongregate, a little title called Do You Fell Lucky today ????.
I swear that is a total quote.
From the sheer number of misspellings and grammatical manglings in this game I’m forced to wonder if the creator speaks English as his or her first language. But anyway, the game play is shockingly simple–first you decide whether or not you feel lucky today, and select yes or no depending. Ironically, it makes little difference, as you’ll then go into the next stage of a game, confronted with what seems to be a flipping coin with the legends “Yeah! You won” and “You loose” on either side. And yes, that “you loose” is actually how it’s spelled. If you manage to lose, which from my attempts is pretty much done by saying that you DON’T feel lucky in the beginning, you get nothing. Winning, meanwhile gives you “lucky points” which are redeemable for absolutely nothing except a general good feeling.
Just for more fun, here are some of the end messages you get after clicking that you DON’T feel lucky. Warning to all grammar nazis in the audience, stop reading these immediately and seek medical attention if your head at any time feels about to explode:
“Is any problem with you ? stop thinking that you don’t fell lucky”
“She or he don’t like you …. (Push YES and she or he will start to like)”
“I guess you rated 1/5 …. go back and push YES, this will make you change your rate and humour”
“Stop pushing NO, go to get some good vibes clicking on the YES button”
I’m sorry, but did you just tell me my bad luck is my OWN fault? Because I’m not FEELING lucky? Because I didn’t rate you sufficiently highly on an arbitrary five scale? Oh, but this is not where the poorly worded fun ends, kids–check out what happens when you actually manage to win a game, done literally every time by clicking that fabled “yes” button:
Congratulations!! You had won 10 lucky points to have an awesome day here on Kongregate, to use it you just need to say “I will use xxx lucky points now to help me do xxx” just before you do the xxx. Here are some examples: To earn that impossible badge that is taking all the time of your life. To think in something good to say to the pretty girl that just came in to the chat. To crush your kongai challenger with only intercepts. To avoid clicking in fu**** non-games of non-senses. To have a better life. To win in the lottery. To realize that this game really works, so it deserve a 5/5 And remember to use your points wisely, but when you use all, just come here an play again!! : )
If by “fu**** non-games of non-senses”, you mean this ridiculous crap you’ve wasted perfectly good bandwidth on, then man, I wish I’d had your lucky points in advance so as not to have wasted time on this. And how many lucky points does it take to send you a DICTIONARY so that you can see just how horrifying a crime against the language you’ve committed here today?
I echo the sentiments left in the comments section of this. I too want those twenty seconds of my life back. Except I didn’t spend twenty seconds on this—I played the game ten times total, five times either way so I could prove the rigging. And I tell you this—I want all that time back. This game is easily the most pointless thing I’ve played in MONTHS.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Game Review–Not What I Had In Mind
I admit, that while on Kongregate, I found a game that turned out to be a whole lot different from what I expected. When you walk in on a game that calls itself Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (WTF for those of you who don’t know radio lingo), you don’t exactly know what to expect out of it. So when I got a mild Space Invaders clone, I was somewhat relieved if a bit disappointed.
In Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, the White House is under attack, and you’ll take command of what might be a tank and what might be a column to fire random blobs at threats that fall from the sky, everything from paratroopers to UFOs to bombs and all the way up to enormous cruise missiles. You’ll go up in rank for every wave you survive (I personally got as high as major), and every enemy you miss adds to your threat level, which will end the game upon reaching a certain height.
Certain things could have improved the game vastly–different weapons, various other threats besides the standard four that I’ve already listed, even a way to lower the threat level as you proceed would’ve made for a deeper gameplay experience. But no, we’re stuck with a fairly bare-bones shooter that doesn’t bring in a whole lot of fun.
It’s not exactly a bit of long term fun, but I don’t necessarily regret giving it a try. I’d likely never go back so I really can’t recommend it, but if you do feel like giving it a try, you might not be terribly disappointed.
Bloody Fun Day Review–Killing Cute Critters In Puzzle Fashion
Back on Kongregate, they’ve just put out a new game not so long ago–it’s called Bloody Fun Day, and it puts you in the role of a Grim Reaper, killing his way through legions of adorable little critters called Cuties.
That’s pretty much all it is for the plot–you make the hills run red with Cutie blood all day long, but it’s not just a clever excuse to turn cuddly little critters into a fine red haze–no sir. It’s also an excellent puzzle game, as you have to kill this critters in groups. And also, you’ll get a variety of special powers to help you in your reaping duties. However, you’ll only have a limited number of attacks you can use in the first place, and thus, you’ll have to clear the board of cute fuzzy critters as rapidly and efficiently as possible to win.
It’s a real brain-stretcher of a puzzle game, and there’s even plenty of blood so you action buffs can forget you’re playing a real brain stretcher of a puzzle game. I can’t help but endorse this winner.
Exploit Game Review – Hack The Planet. Or At Least A Small Part Of It.
Exploit, one of the newest games on Kongregate, is a mind-bending puzzler with peculiar social ramifications.
You play as a white hat (otherwise known as good guy) hacker who’s decided to take on a totalitarian regime all by his onesies, breaking into their computer systems and trying to find out what’s really going on inside the tiny little dictatorship. The deeper in you go, the more difficult the systems are to hack, and the more you find out about the little country.
The biggest problem I have is that the puzzles are spectacularly difficult after even a few rounds–it took me three or four tries to solve the last puzzle on the tutorial level, which should say something about the game itself. But if you want a real brain-buster of a puzzle game, then you’ll get everything you ever wanted and then some out of Exploit.
Bunny Invasion 2 Review – Surprisingly Addictive Bunny Blasting Mayhem
Bunny Invasion 2, one of the latest games on Kongregate Games, is downright unsettling for all manner of reasons. The largest of these is that you’ll spend a whole lot of time shooting homicidal bunny rabbits who want nothing so much as to tear down your favorite pub and kill everyone inside. Thus, it’s not exactly a surprise that you’ll head to the roof of said pub with a variety of increasingly destructive weapons.
Sure, it sounds like the kind of thing PETA would be up in arms over, but these bunnies are actually trying to kill you. Thus, it almost feels good to blast their fuzzy little behinds back to whatever hell spawned them. In fact, there’s one great wave–and there’s better than fifty of them total–in which you can get a fully-powered-up minigun and take on a legion of small bunny troops, such that you’re fighting an avalanche with fire hoses. It can be done, but only if you have all the water in the world.
So just to sum up, I really liked this game. It’s easy to pick up and play, and has plenty of humor and excitement for anyone willing to play it through to the end. The addition of an achievements menu adds an extra note of replay value that’s much appreciated. Bunny Invasion 2 is a fight worth fighting.
Electric Box Game Review–Drunken Engineers’ Dares
A devious little puzzler comes to us by way of Kongregate Games today, and you can take a run at it yourself right here–it’s called Electric Box,and if you ever wanted a good electrical engineering sim, well, you’ve got it right here, man. Boy, do you ever.
You’re given a variety of parts–water wheels, light bulbs, solar panels, batteries, laser generators, and so on–to move power from one device to another. Now, you might think–all I really need is some wires and that’ll let me run power no problem. Oh no…it’s never that simple. For some reason, everyone’s detached wires, leaving piles of them everywhere that you can’t move. I’m guessing this is like some drunken engineer challenge or something, leaving you to try and route power around corners and past blockages and everywhere in between.
Two things become clear right away. This game is hard, and this game is pretty fun. If you do any tinkering with machines in your spare time, or you’ve always wanted to but seem to have thumbs implanted where your fingers should be, then you might well get a kick out of transferring power from one point to another. But if you’re not into engineering, then this isn’t one for you.
The Space Game–Pirate Blasting Fun For All
You’ve got to love Kongregate, because they keep clocking out some pretty entertaining games and bringing them to you at the lowest possible price of free. Another choice title that just recently got added to their rolls is The Space Game, a simple yet highly addictive strategy simulation.
You play as part of a mining collective, building infrastructure for your little part of the galaxy. You’ll have to build energy stations and relays to get power to your mining machinery, and to the lasers and missile launchers that will defend it. Each asteroid field will get progressively more difficult, with more asteroids to mine and more pirates to fend off in the process of getting the rock out of the asteroids.
It’s surprisingly simple, just a few maps, but it’s also surprisingly fun. I was frantically hammering away on the map for several minutes, setting up lines of laser emplacements and repair stations. Sure, the storyline’s nonexistent and the graphics are probably original Playstation grade, but still—the price is right, especially THESE days!
I Have To Do WHAT To King Bhumibol?
When a game requires you to defecate on a sitting monarch, you have to wonder how long it’s going to be before the game’s creator winds up in a deep hole somewhere. Thus, it’s hard to say how long the guys behind “You Have To Defecate Upon King Bhumibol” will be around.
Billed as “a complete ripoff of Mazapan’s IGF-nominated “You Have To Burn The Rope” (which was also, by the way, surprisingly fun)”, “You Have To Defecate Upon King Bhumibol” is almost a new low in gaming. Essentially, all you will do is negotiate your way through a tunnel. You’ll be attacked by no enemies, but you can throw your hat if you like at the vast among of nothing charging at you at any given time. At the end of the tunnel is “a certain Thai royalty”, ostensibly the titular King Bhumibol. You will then have to position yourself directly above the king, which releases a large quantity of brown sludge onto the enormous (relative to your character) King Bhumibol.
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Death Row–An Unsettlingly Immersive Experience
You never really expect a casual game to mean much of anything. And yet, with Kongregate Games’ Death Row, I managed to find just that: a meaningful casual game.
You play what I can only guess is some kind of counselor in charge of notorious terrorist / bomber Hector Van Daemon. Your job is to prove Hector’s innocence, as well as rehabilitate him, and do it all in the two weeks before Van Daemon is to be executed by the state. You have several duties available to you–you can interact with Van Daemon by playing games or engaging him in activities or even through a fairly buggy chat program, you can put Van Daemon to work to earn money, and you can take that money and buy upgrades for Van Daemon’s jail cell. These upgrades–including a TV and computer–might seem frivolous, but they’re actually necessary to find the various clues scattered around Van Daemon’s jail cell.
I had a lot of problems with the game, frankly. Control was a major issue, and the supporting documentation was pretty sparse in terms of just how to improve things like Van Daemon’s health and work ethic. Thankfully, I discovered them myself, and the second game got a whole lot smoother. And if I never watch another man settle onto a toilet with accompanying fart noises again, it’ll be too soon.
But there was something unusually engaging about Death Row. I was actually beginning to sympathize with Van Daemon’s position–an innocent man railroaded by a shoddy trial (they actually describe it as such), steadily trying to improve himself and prove his innocence is actually a position that most of us can identify with. We don’t wish such a thing to happen to anyone, and having the opportunity to help save Hector Van Daemon from his fate is somehow empowering.
In fact, when I managed to find all the pieces of evidence proving Van Daemon’s innocence, and we sent them off to the governor’s office, and his release was STILL denied due to his “dubious character”, I shared in Hector’s rage. He was innocent! We could PROVE it! And yet somehow the system was still making arbitrary decisions about the content of his character and keeping him locked up? This was sick! This was a GRAPHIC miscarriage of justice! This was…
…this was…a video game. All I had to do was press the big red X on the Firefox window I was using to play the game and Hector Van Daemon would cease to exist until I wanted to try again. And yet, somehow, despite myself, I was still identifying with this fictional character so thoroughly that I suffered along with him.
This is the mark of a good movie–allowing you to identify with the characters so deeply you can share in their emotions. It separates the boundary between fiction and reality, obscures it, sucks you into the story and allows you to experience it, albeit in a strictly vicarious fashion. I was amazed. I’d yet to experience a casual game that could do such a thing.
For this sheer uniqueness of experience, I can do little else but recommend this game to you wholeheartedly. Enjoy it. Let it pull you in, and enjoy your two weeks with Hector Van Daemon.