Posts Tagged ‘Kongregate’
Colourshift Game Review–A Colorful Puzzler That’ll Make You Scream
There are puzzle games, and then there are puzzle games that make you want to scream and throw things at your monitor. Colourshift is one such game, now available to play on Kongregate.
The concept is simple enough–move tiles around to complete circuits of color. And in the beginning, it’s as simple as it sounds. But where it gets downright difficult is when you’ll be required, around level 4, to do color blends. It’s not enough to just link up blue and yellow, no sir–you’ll have to do a GREEN linkage, running circuits of yellow AND blue simultaneously. And when that particular complication is introduced into the mix, the game goes from relatively easy puzzler to total mindbender.
Colourshift will either make you hate puzzle games entirely or make you feel proud enough of yourself to burst as you beat a level. If you’re a sense of accomplishment junkie, then Colourshift is your new drug of choice.
Do You Fell Lucky today ???? Game Review–A Nightmare On Grammatical And Gameplay Fronts
Congratulate me, kids, because I may have found the single most pointless new game on Kongregate, a little title called Do You Fell Lucky today ????.
I swear that is a total quote.
From the sheer number of misspellings and grammatical manglings in this game I’m forced to wonder if the creator speaks English as his or her first language. But anyway, the game play is shockingly simple–first you decide whether or not you feel lucky today, and select yes or no depending. Ironically, it makes little difference, as you’ll then go into the next stage of a game, confronted with what seems to be a flipping coin with the legends “Yeah! You won” and “You loose” on either side. And yes, that “you loose” is actually how it’s spelled. If you manage to lose, which from my attempts is pretty much done by saying that you DON’T feel lucky in the beginning, you get nothing. Winning, meanwhile gives you “lucky points” which are redeemable for absolutely nothing except a general good feeling.
Just for more fun, here are some of the end messages you get after clicking that you DON’T feel lucky. Warning to all grammar nazis in the audience, stop reading these immediately and seek medical attention if your head at any time feels about to explode:
“Is any problem with you ? stop thinking that you don’t fell lucky”
“She or he don’t like you …. (Push YES and she or he will start to like)”
“I guess you rated 1/5 …. go back and push YES, this will make you change your rate and humour”
“Stop pushing NO, go to get some good vibes clicking on the YES button”
I’m sorry, but did you just tell me my bad luck is my OWN fault? Because I’m not FEELING lucky? Because I didn’t rate you sufficiently highly on an arbitrary five scale? Oh, but this is not where the poorly worded fun ends, kids–check out what happens when you actually manage to win a game, done literally every time by clicking that fabled “yes” button:
Congratulations!! You had won 10 lucky points to have an awesome day here on Kongregate, to use it you just need to say “I will use xxx lucky points now to help me do xxx” just before you do the xxx. Here are some examples: To earn that impossible badge that is taking all the time of your life. To think in something good to say to the pretty girl that just came in to the chat. To crush your kongai challenger with only intercepts. To avoid clicking in fu**** non-games of non-senses. To have a better life. To win in the lottery. To realize that this game really works, so it deserve a 5/5 And remember to use your points wisely, but when you use all, just come here an play again!! : )
If by “fu**** non-games of non-senses”, you mean this ridiculous crap you’ve wasted perfectly good bandwidth on, then man, I wish I’d had your lucky points in advance so as not to have wasted time on this. And how many lucky points does it take to send you a DICTIONARY so that you can see just how horrifying a crime against the language you’ve committed here today?
I echo the sentiments left in the comments section of this. I too want those twenty seconds of my life back. Except I didn’t spend twenty seconds on this—I played the game ten times total, five times either way so I could prove the rigging. And I tell you this—I want all that time back. This game is easily the most pointless thing I’ve played in MONTHS.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Game Review–Not What I Had In Mind
I admit, that while on Kongregate, I found a game that turned out to be a whole lot different from what I expected. When you walk in on a game that calls itself Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (WTF for those of you who don’t know radio lingo), you don’t exactly know what to expect out of it. So when I got a mild Space Invaders clone, I was somewhat relieved if a bit disappointed.
In Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, the White House is under attack, and you’ll take command of what might be a tank and what might be a column to fire random blobs at threats that fall from the sky, everything from paratroopers to UFOs to bombs and all the way up to enormous cruise missiles. You’ll go up in rank for every wave you survive (I personally got as high as major), and every enemy you miss adds to your threat level, which will end the game upon reaching a certain height.
Certain things could have improved the game vastly–different weapons, various other threats besides the standard four that I’ve already listed, even a way to lower the threat level as you proceed would’ve made for a deeper gameplay experience. But no, we’re stuck with a fairly bare-bones shooter that doesn’t bring in a whole lot of fun.
It’s not exactly a bit of long term fun, but I don’t necessarily regret giving it a try. I’d likely never go back so I really can’t recommend it, but if you do feel like giving it a try, you might not be terribly disappointed.
Bloody Fun Day Review–Killing Cute Critters In Puzzle Fashion
Back on Kongregate, they’ve just put out a new game not so long ago–it’s called Bloody Fun Day, and it puts you in the role of a Grim Reaper, killing his way through legions of adorable little critters called Cuties.
That’s pretty much all it is for the plot–you make the hills run red with Cutie blood all day long, but it’s not just a clever excuse to turn cuddly little critters into a fine red haze–no sir. It’s also an excellent puzzle game, as you have to kill this critters in groups. And also, you’ll get a variety of special powers to help you in your reaping duties. However, you’ll only have a limited number of attacks you can use in the first place, and thus, you’ll have to clear the board of cute fuzzy critters as rapidly and efficiently as possible to win.
It’s a real brain-stretcher of a puzzle game, and there’s even plenty of blood so you action buffs can forget you’re playing a real brain stretcher of a puzzle game. I can’t help but endorse this winner.
Gen Review–Fun With Spheres
So I went back to Kongregate to see if there was anything interesting to play, and indeed, under the hot new games section was Gen, a twisted little puzzle game that put a little extra punch in my day.
Basically, you control a sphere with the power to attract other, smaller spheres, and you’ve got to guide these spheres to the safety of the main sphere. I’m not sure why the spheres are gone, or why touching spheres to things around you kills them, but the key thing is, this is a diabolical little puzzler that’ll test your every brain cell. Seriously, if you want a way to perk up your brain in the morning, bust out one of these puzzlers and try to guide some spheres. You’ll find yourself in a much better mood, between the relaxing music and the mindbending puzzles. You even manage to feel a genuine sense of accomplishment after carrying through a level, and it’s not every game that can do that.
If you like a good puzzle with some calming music that’s fast in, fast out, then Gen is the game for you.