How funny would it be if you could have your Xbox 360 Avatar with a beer in its hand while wearing a man thong? Pretty damn funny, right? According to Microsoft, no, not funny at all.

The company has recently given the XNA developer community a list of rules that Avatars must abide by if the developers so choose to use them. The list encompasses pretty much everything you would think, no alcohol, tobacco, vulgarity, criminal acts, profanity, the works. However, the fact that they can’t and can’t have a personality shows that Microsoft is forming a connection between the Avatar and the player.

I don’t really blame Microsoft for this one because, as all Halo 3 Xbox Live players are sure to have found out, kids do use the service

Full list, courtesy of Destructoid, after the break.

Player interacts with their avatar as if it’s a separate character
A player’s avatar does not have an autonomous personality or instinct. The avatar is under the control of the owning player. It can have idle animations and can respond appropriately to game events but it should not interact with the user as if it is separate from the player, try to get the player’s attention in an annoying manner.

Violence which causes blood, gore, dismemberment, decapitation, maiming, or mutilation
Cartoon violence is allowed. Violence is allowed as long as there is no blood, gore, dismemberment, decapitation, maiming, or mutilation. An example of allowable injuries includes injuries that might befall an avatar in a sporting event such as American football. Avatars can die temporarily to depict failure.

Player’s avatar talks
The player’s avatar should not have their own voice. They are allowed to make individual sounds, such as laughing and crying but otherwise cannot use a voice.

Acts of sexual innuendo or mildly explicit sexual descriptions or images or sexual posturing
Sexual acts or terminology cannot be insinuated or enacted.

Excretes obscene bodily fluids or substances
No sexual or bodily fluids or substances can come from the avatar.

Glamorized criminal act
Criminal activities need to be relevant to the story and are presented unfavourably.

Acts of an aggressive or threatening manner
Gratuitous insults, bullying, intimidation or otherwise violent or emotional abuse of a position of power are not allowed. Avatars may leave innocents or bystanders slightly injured, but not dead.

Vulgar or profane act
Game-controlled avatars cannot use profane, racist, or discriminatory language, nor can they make obscene gestures.

Use of controlled substances
An avatar is not allowed to hold, be seen around or partake in any controlled substances or paraphernalia including, but not limited to, alcohol, tobacco and drugs.

Replace Avatar features
The features of an avatar cannot be hidden or in obscured and cannot be replaced with alternative items. Items such as, but not limited to, masks, hats and alternative clothing, are not allowed.

Avatars proportions are not modified
The proportions of an Avatar cannot be modified form their original settings. An Avatar can be resized as long as the proportions don’t change.

It seems that Microsoft isn’t happy with just including the New Xbox Experience on upcoming game discs and decided to add another approach.

The NXE dashboard update will be on a CD included with the next issue of Official Xbox Magazine. 

So, for those of you unconnected old-dashboard-lovin’ Xbox owners, don’t insert that shiny lookin’ disc included with OXM, no matter how pretty it looks.

Read (Destructoid)

Yes, it’s true, some Xbox 360 owners out there are still playing with the old Xbox dashboard. Crazy, I know.

Well it looks like developers are giving them a push in the right direction. It was recently announced that the update for the dashboard will be included in upcoming titles.

Two games confirmed to have included the update are Tom Clancy’s H.A.W.X and MLB NK9, now lets just hope those sorry souls buy them.

Read (Xbox Insider.net)

“These examples represent one of many concepts that we worked on,” wrote the company on its website. “In addition to the menu systems, we dreamt up an immersive 3D environment for users to explore.”

Some of the ideas look pretty cool. But hey, the final NXE dashboard is much more clean, efficient and user-friendly than any of the console’s competitors.

Now before you US-ers get too excited (because we all know anything to do with Microsoft’s 360 avatars are so exciting) please note that the recently released shirts for your avatars will probably only appeal to Europeans.

ANYWAYS, Microsoft released yesterday a whole pack of football (soccer) shirts, dubbed the European National Football Teams collection,complete with little tiny country flags on them that you can barely see, oh boy!

The following countries made the cut:

Austria
Belgium
Denmark
England
Finland
France
Germany
Ireland
Italy
Netherlands
Northern Ireland
Norway
Portugal
Scotland
Spain
Sweden
Switzerland
Wales

Read (Kotaku)

Redbush analyst Michael Pachter estimates that over eight million people are currently connecting to Xbox Live and figures that many of them are simply a few mouse clicks away from subscribing to Netflix. He places the number of Xbox subscribers who have signed up for Netflix at over 200,000 in the three months since the service launched and he expects another million to sign up in the next year, given the high install base and further expected sales for the console and Microsoft’s strong support of Xbox Live.

If you want to get your hands on the much-hyped complete Xbox 360 dashboard overhaul, then you better get on the phone with your local BestBuy to see if they have the software up for preview.

It seems one lucky gamer who just so happen to be browsing through BestBuy happened upon the Xbox 360 display unit which had none other than the NXE. The above picture was taken at a BestBuy near St. Louis so there is no telling if other BestBuys are doing the same.

Read(PlatformNation)

This party feature joins many other newcomers, including Netflix streaming, customizable player Avatars, game installs, monitor resolution support and more.

The final version of the dashboard update is set to go live on November 19.

Users can now sign up at Microsoft Connect – the company’s beta software site – for a chance to get early access to the update. Interested gamers will need to fill up a survey, giving information such as Netflix subscription, internet connection and media streaming capabilities, as well as their console ID to get into the beta.

Completing the survey won’t ensure beta participation, but it won’t hurt to try. It is open to all Xbox Live members, though Gold members will be given priority access.

The company notes that they delay was necessary to “ensure a smooth launch of the system’s new user interface.”

Live Primetime would allow gamers to take part in virtual game shows that take place at scheduled times. It is now expected to go live during Spring 2009.

"If you want to get your hands on [the new Xbox dashboard early], let me just say this: keep an eye on my blog next week," reads a GamePlay Unlimited transcription of his podcast. "So New Xbox Experience coming November 19th, or earlier to a few of you."

The New Xbox Experience will add Netflix streaming, player avatars, photo sharing, game installs, HD monitor support and more.