Posts Tagged ‘retread game’
Bionic Commando Game Review–Taking Fun And Completely Destroying It
At the risk of dating myself horribly, I remember when Bionic Commando, now available for PC, Playstation 3, and Xbox 360, was an arcade game. Like in actual arcades. In case you haven’t seen one lately, arcades were places where people would go to play video games. Sure, they had video game systems at home–most of them did, anyway–but arcades were the place to go to play the newest, the latest, and the best. They even had specialized interfaces–racing games would offer you a molded bucket seat with a steering wheel in front, and so on. But enough of my geriatric doddering–the takeaway here is that I remember Bionic Commando when it didn’t look like a cookie-cutter of EVERY OTHER GAME ON THE MARKET.
This is a direct sequel to the original Bionic Commando, as well as to Bionic Commando: Rearmed, so of course some advancements are to be expected. The plotline even manages to dovetail successfully with the original: ten years after the original, the “bionic commandos”, of which there were apparently more than one, are facing a sizable public backlash. Hunted like dogs and in most cases killed, few people remember the legendary Super Joe who once saved the world. But recently, pro-bionic terrorists set off a “weapon of mass destruction” in the middle of Ascension City and proceeded to occupy the rest. Now, it’s up to Nathan Spencer, former bionic commando, to swing in and retake the city.
Seriously—when was this giant rush started to make almost every game a shooter in which your perspective was either perched over a gun barrel or staring at some guy’s—or on rare occasions some girl’s—pixelated ass? That may well be the biggest problem with Bionic Commando: sheer mind-numbing unoriginality. Sure, the plotline’s great but the gameplay is so cookie-cutter as to be downright nightmarish.
The graphics and sound are just fine—if you like technical superiority in your games, then you won’t be disappointed here. In this case, sadly, it’s just pretty wrapping over a lousy package.
Though in the end, it may be my own memories that are to blame here. I didn’t have much fun with this game because it wasn’t the Bionic Commando I knew and loved. Instead I got some pretty third-person shooter with some good action but some really buggy portions too. I remember when the Bionic Arm would clamp onto nearly anything and let me swing. I certainly DON’T, however, remember the Bionic Arm being useful in only a handful of situations, and the rest of the time, the arm simply refusing to attach. It’s like the Delorean of bionic implants—sure, it LOOKS awesome but it really doesn’t perform all that well. What point is there in only being able to attach onto a limited handful of surfaces? Bionic Commando, with only a few exceptions, is basically almost two games—a shooter, and a timed button press round of swinging.
And even the timed button presses of swinging don’t always ensure success—more than once my swing indicator told me “Great Swing!”, but what that lying bastard failed to tell me was that it wasn’t good ENOUGH, as I fell into the abyss well short of where I’d intended to land.
So yes, I’m very disappointed with this second-rate retread purporting to be a sequel of a game I enjoyed so very much way back when. Maybe my memories make me biased, but one thing’s clear, this is an unworthy successor.