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The Conduit Game Review–It’s Like Red Bull, The Game

That headline, of course, will require some explanation.  If you’ve ever drank a Red Bull before, especially if you don’t do it often, what you get is kind of a sweetish, cloying taste (that for me put me vaguely in mind of chewable vitamins) followed by an incredibly twitchy sensation as the sugar and caffeine goes burning its way merrily through your endocrine system.  And, either ironically or by design, this is EXACTLY how I’d describe The Conduit, the newest first person shooter for the Wii.

Basically, The Conduit asks you to believe that all those things you scoffed at as merely tinfoil-hat lunacy, stuff like chemtrails and 9/11 being an inside job and aliens and whatever it is they’re doing out at the Denver International Airport, are all in fact very real.  This is already tough enough, but then they’ll follow that up by asking you to believe that the shadowy figures behind all of them actually brought a tinfoil-hat type INTO the conspiracy, and said tinfoil hatter actually accepted his new role.  From there, he’ll be heavily armed with all the latest government hardware and whatever he can manage to pick up along the way from the race of alien marauders who’s looking to set up shop on Earth.  Their technology tends to focus on things that are grown rather than built–their weapons use biomass as propellant and their locks are organic–and the centerpiece of their tech tree is the Conduit, a kind of interdimensional warp generator that seems to be similar to the old Stargate design.  But, as you’ll discover as you go through the game, there’s plenty of sneaky shadowy stuff going on here, and you may not be able to trust your own handlers as much as you’d want to…or even as much as you hope.

I give them all the credit in the world for assembling a sharp, sweet storyline.  Seriously, they clearly put a lot into it and it really is a fantastic story that uses plenty of the things we might find roaming around the internet at this very second.  They’ve got the plot on lockdown, and even the graphics and sound weigh in nicely for a Wii title.  Though everyone TALKS about the so-called Wii Syndrome, in which a game is automatically docked by virtue of being on the Wii, let’s face one indisputable fact–graphically, no game for the Wii has yet been produced that can compete with an Xbox 360 or PS3 title.  This isn’t bias, this is sheer fact, and if someone actually CAN point out a Wii game that CAN compete graphically with, say, Prototype or Haze or Killzone 2 or Fallout 3, then I will cheerfully and publicly retract this statement in the comments section below.

There’s only one other problem with The Conduit, and that’s the twitchy control scheme.  A first person shooter depends heavily on the ability to get the firepower where it needs to go, whether it be into a tank or an enemy’s sternum.  And when I’m trying to line up a shot, it really doesn’t help that the Wiimote will periodically jerk halfway across the screen from one small twitch of the wrist.  This will take getting used to.

But the fact remains–The Conduit just might be, all things considered, the Wii’s best first person shooter.  And if you love a good first person shooter with plenty of action, then you’re going to be all over this game.

Alien Breed Spawning Next Generation

Isometric third person shooters were once as ubiquitous as FPS titles are today, being made for a wide variety of systems over the years with varying degrees of success. Many of these games are still played by rabid fans and those who prefer the simpler style of retro games. One title you’ll see on every abandonware site under the sun is Alien Breed and its two sequels.

It was originally released on the Amiga and was a big hit for developer Team17, drawing on inspiration from the Alien films and games like Gauntlet. It’s been a bit over twelve years since the last title was released, though several new projects have been started and then shelved since. The newest title, Alien Breed Evolution is aptly named as it’s a huge leap forward for the series in terms of graphics. The last title in the franchise was released when a 66 MHz processor was top of the line, while this title will be utilizing the Unreal3 engine.

Release dates and platforms are forthcoming, but since it’s a downloadable title being made by an independent company I’d certainly imagine it’ll be released for both the Xbox 360 and PS3.

Call of Juarez: Bound In Blood Game Review–Good But Only In Isolation

I’ll admit up front today, folks, that I actually enjoyed Call of Juarez: Bound In Blood on the Xbox 360 for what it was–a surprisingly well-done, a surprisingly intuitive, first person shooter that brought plenty of action right from the word go, and a story that actually held my interest.  But there are still problems to be had here, and we’ll get into those directly.

First, the plot itself.  A prequel to the original Call of Juarez, this time we’re with the McCall brothers as they fight their way through Georgia at about the same time William Tecumseh Sherman began his infamous March to the Sea.  With Georgia in slowly burning ruins, the McCalls, despite their spectacular valiance, aren’t able to repulse the invasion.  It even gets personal when Sherman’s March takes the McCall family farm with it.  Thus, two out of the three brothers McCall turn outlaw and go off to find the legendary gold of Juarez.  Along the way, they’ll tackle a variety of enemies–an Apache connected to the gold, a Mexican bandit and his lovely concubine, and even the Confederate army they went AWOL from in otder to turn outlaw.  The McCall brothers will thus launch a swath of lawlessness and destruction that will in turn leave its mark on the entirety of the old West forever.

I know, it sounds like an awesome story.  And watching it unfold, it really IS an awesome story.  But this is not where the aforementioned problems come into play.  The problems themselves come in on the actual gameplay end of things.

The controls are solid enough–no real problem there–but the biggest problem is that Call of Juarez: Bound In Blood is so very limited.  For instance, in the first level, you’re mostly crawling around in some trenches, trying to piece together where exactly you’re supposed to go.  Sure, you’ve got a marker giving you some idea where to go, but it’s still tough to tell if you need to take this corner or that corner back there and go around the long way, if you get my drift.

I’m convinced that I’ve become somewhat spoiled by Fallout 3 as I wind up comparing every first person shooter I play to it.  And sure enough, stacked up against an opening act like that, pretty much everything else will have to pale in comparison.  There’s just no two ways about it–you can’t eat a porterhouse steak then go chow down on meatloaf and say it’s on par with the best beef ever.  So what you have to do in response is take everything in isolation.  By itself, Call of Juarez has a decent multiplayer mode with lots of options, plenty of wild action, lots of gunplay and explosivesplay and all the things that make a shooter game solidly entertaining.  The graphics are at least fair, and the sound is solidly done.

And yet I still find myself somewhat let down, because I’ve seen what first person shooters actually can be. I’ve seen the kind of fun that can be had when you put someone behind the gun and let them roam wild and free over a huge map.  Every maze-crawler, every railroad run, every point-a-to-point-b game that follows is just a sad, sorry imitation.  Call of Juarez: Bound In Blood may be good enough for a play, but it’s definitely not as good as it could be.

Resident Evil Archives Game Review–Time For A Sleazy Cash Grab!

Wow, Nintendo–this might be a new low, even for you.  First you had the nerve to release the original Resident Evil on the Gamecube with basically just enhanced difficulty and call it Resident Evil Zero.  And now, you step it up a tick by releasing the original Resident Evil on the Wii with basically just enhanced graphics and calling it Resident Evil Archives.

Seriously, this is the second time you’ve rereleased a game from 1996 and called it good enough.  Is there no limit?

But okay, you’ve done it, and now we have to live with it, so off I go, to review Resident Evil.  Again.  Thanks, Big N. Thanks ever so.

Resident Evil Archives is about a group of special forces types, the S.T.A.R.S (Special Tactics And Rescue Service) team, who’s gone off to investigate a rash of murders out in the wilds of the Arklay Mountains area just outside of Raccoon City.  And when the S.T.A.R.S team doesn’t report in, Alpha Team is sent in to track them down.  What they find is nothing short of horrifying, as genetically altered mutations now rule the Arklay Mountains region.  When Alpha Team takes cover in a sprawling mansion after being chased by a pack of mutant dogs, they discover that their night of horror has only just begun.  Now missing nearly half the team, the remnants of Alpha Team have to find out what happened to everyone else and get out alive, in the process discovering the truth behind what’s going on in the Arklay Mountains.

It’s no secret that the original Resident Evil was the start of something amazing.  It’s no secret that Resident Evil was a spectacularly fun game and if you’ve never had the pleasure of trying it out then you definitely should.  And I’ll even go so far as to admit that the Wii version really does have loads better graphics.  I only WISH the original Resident Evil looked this good.  But I’ve got serious problems with Resident Evil Archives.

One, there’s the obvious.  i really question the value of this game’s existence to begin with.  Considering that the PS2 is fully backward compatible with the PS1, and the PS2 is still selling like hotcakes, why would you need the Wii to play it in the first place?  This just reeks of massive sleazy cash grab.

Two, holy hell, the CONTROLS.  I don’t know where the nunchuk’s major malfunction was, but when it’s taking me a good three minutes to try to push the bureau into position in that damn sculpture room so I can snag the first floor map, I’ve got a serious problem here, and I don’t think it’s an issue of my own fine motor skills.

Three, there’s something very seriously wrong with the difficulty here.  I run into that first zombie, just off the dining room?  My first response has always been to back into the hall so I can line up my shot.  And I’m firing into this thing in as rapid a fashion as possible, but it just shambles up and starts chewing on me.  Next thing I know, I’m down two-thirds of my starting ammo capacity and my EKG’s blinking at me that I need a health powerup and bad.  Since when do these zombies absorb fire like that?  Oh, and you can forget about trying to take head shots.  That’s all apparently randomized now, even if you could get it to aim solidly.

So all things considered, this is a great game for anyone who hasn’t yet had the sweet joy of Resident Evil and longs to see it in brilliant clarity but not necessarily with the greatest control scheme.  If you’ve got a Playstation, or a PS2, or you’ve already played Resident Evil, there’s no reason at all to crawl through the Archives.

Shepard Will Be In Mass Effect 3

Video games are in some ways are starting to resemble the auto industry. We’re hearing more and more details about future titles in a series that hasn’t even released a sequel yet. Eventually developers will leak details of sequels to games that have yet to hit the shelves. Regardless of how early this news is, it’s still interesting to hear. In the first trailers for Mass Effect 2 we saw little more than a robotic geth wearing the protagonists armor, leading many to assume that he’d died in the ambiguous ending of the original.

Later though it was revealed that he had survived and would be present for at least some of the sequel. Now BioWare’s Casey Hudson, the executive producer on the title has revealed that not only has Shepard survived to the sequel, he may even make it to the final chapter of the trilogy. I say ‘may’ however not out of any ambiguity on the part of the developer- the choice rests on the player. Mass Effect 2 will have certain events or differences based on choices you made in the original (assuming you played it and still have your save file). As you’ve probably heard, depending on your actions characters can die in this game. Hopefully it won’t simply be due to the rigors of everyday combat, because in the original I generally found myself the only one standing at the end of nearly every encounter. Not only can your teammates die, but Shepard himself can be offed.

Of course if you fail to keep him alive, he’ll be replaced by a stand-in character in Mass Effect 3 so as to not force the developers to create two different plotlines, but if you play your cards right the hero can survive the supposed suicide mission he embarks on in #2 and head out for another attempt at defeating overwhelming odds.

Indie Studio Unveiling Xbox 360 FPS

In an increasingly technologically enabled word the control of certain industries is being challenged by the formerly passive consumers. Independent films have existed for years but now thanks to better quality digital cameras and video editing software included for free on some computers anyone with a vision can bring it to life. Musicians have been at this for quite some time, though the advent of the internet and sites like Myspace and Youtube made it incredibly easy to spread your music to waiting ears.

Now the gaming industry is seeing lots of small studios making games for WiiWare, Xbox Live Arcade and the PlayStation Store. WXP Games has been working on an FPS titled Exod Intervention for ten years, with full production having started two years ago by a team of nine people. As with most FPS games it has a decidedly sci-fi bent, though it’s a bit more interesting than the standard alien invasion idea. Facing their imminent demise, humanity sends out an ark designed to find a habitable planet and resurrect humanity. The name of this last hope? Project Exod.

After a century of drifting through space the ark has found a suitable planet called Dagoth. You play the Planetary Custodian, a bioengineered creature designed to prepare the new human homeworld. To assist in this end you’ve been equipped by the ‘BioCode’ with a bug-like weapon that can evolve over time. Of course there’s something else on this planet, a lifeform that wants to destroy all other life. The game is set to release this fall.

Ghostbusters the Video Game Game Review–Just What Atari Needed

One thing’s pretty clear–some of the oldest game companies out there are getting pounded by the modern game business environment.  Midway’s been getting shellacked, which you can read about right here, and Atari has been in the dumps for quite some time.  This is why we all–Atari included–have reason to be intensely, almost perversely, happy about the recent release of Ghostbusters: The Video Game.

Set as a third person shooter, you’ll charge through the various landmarks of New York as “the new guy” (Venkman insists on not using names as he doesn’t “want to get attached”), the guy (or gal, that’s a possibility) who tests the experimental equipment and is thus most likely to be blown into New Jersey by a malfunctioning proton pack or something similar, which won’t actually happen but considering you’re working with the Ghostbusters, the chances of it happening are fairly likely.  Anyway, the environment has changed, and the city is a lot more tolerant–even downright friendly–of Ghostbusters and their ghostbusting.  The city’s insurance policy has actually been extended to cover the Ghostbusters and the concomitant property damage they incur, so you’ll be able to do whatever needs to be done to clear the city of ghosts. But it’s not just ghosts you’ll have to worry about; there’s a much deeper plot at work here that you’ll also have to break through.

There will be plenty of ghosts, too–you’ll be taking on construction workers and angry sous chefs from beyond the grave and even the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man within the first six levels.  You’ll get to work the PKE meter and the proton pack and plenty of nifty new gadgets like the highly destructive boson dart system.  You’ll pick up pages of Tobin’s Spirit Guide, the single greatest resource a Ghostbuster can have, and supplement them with actual PKE scans.

I firmly believe that this may be the single best simulation of what it’s like to be a Ghostbuster ever released to date.

Of course, it may well be the ONLY actual simulation of what it’s like to be a Ghostbuster ever released to date, but that’s somewhat beside the point.  In fact, I’m somewhat surprised to see it took as long as it did to get one out.  Some of that, naturally, is to latch onto the resurgence of Ghostbusters with the emergence of the third movie on the horizon but still, they could’ve been pumping these out for YEARS between two and the still upcoming three.

Not that I’m not, on a limited level, happy about this development, of course–if they HAD flooded the market with Ghostbusters games it would’ve seriously tarnished the brand, but this is largely beside the point.  The point is that this is an intensely fun game that packs in plenty of action.  Sure, the controls can be a little hard to grapple with, especially in the Wii version, but it’s still plenty fun to lash out with the proton pack and roll out the trap.  One downside, however, is that the game stops short of giving you the ultimate experience of driving the Ecto-1, the Ghostbusters’ converted ambulance.  That might well have made for the best part of the game, but no–they patently refuse to allow you drive the Ecto-1.  They’ll even MOCK you for not being ALLOWED to drive it.  I’m sorry, but sacrificing a fantastic experience for a cheap joke just isn’t right.

These minor points aside, well, there’s plenty of fun to be had here, and getting your hands on this game should be well worth your time.

Midway Makes Last Push At Avoiding Closure

The once high and mighty development studio Midway is facing imminent closure. Though they weren’t the first company to put blood and guts into video games, they were the first ones to accomplish it in so stylistic a manner that others followed suit soon after, with Mortal Kombat’s ‘fatality’ becoming something of a gamer buzzword. Unfortunately they’ve been on a steady decline for some time and the lukewarm reception of Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe and the absolute flop of Wheelman have pushed the company to the grim precipice.

Many of the branches have already been They’re not going quietly into that good night- their Newcastle studio has revealed their last hope at getting a financial backer who can help them pull out of their slump. It’s an open-world action game called Necessary Force, set in the film cliche of a maverick cop in the city who makes his own rules. They’re looking to explore the ‘troubled morality’ of the situation with the game and feature the sort of choice/consequence idea that’s becoming increasingly popular these days.

The website for the game is up and features a trailer which looks good so far, though it seems to be long on rendered environments, concept art and cutscenes and short on actualy gameplay footage, but it does look good. Will this be enough to get someone interested in the studio? Can a non-fantastic open world title that lacks the familiar GTA branding succeed?

Battalion Wars 2 Game Review–A Third Person Shooter With Bells And Whistles

I had heard vague stirrings of goodness about the Battalion Wars series for some time, so when I found a copy of Battalion Wars 2 on the Wii, I thought I’d found a real winner.  See, when I first took a whack at this I thought I was going to play an actual RTS on the Wii.  That really perked my interest–for crying out loud, TELL me the Wiimote and nunchuk aren’t just perfectly suited to a point-and-click style interface.  Seriously, try and tell me that.

But anyway, you can just about imagine my surprise when I didn’t get a map-driven point-and-click strategy simulation game, but rather a third-person shooter.

We start our little affair in the midst of a battle between the Iron Legion and the Solar Empire.  The Iron Legion is about to literally hand the entire world its own ass by knocking out the last functioning army left on the field.  Only a last-ditch effort by a single brave soldier can save the entire planet from being ground under the Iron Legion’s massive, heavy boot heel.  Fast forward a few years–the Solar Empire has been living in relative peace, but all that is about to change when the Anglo Isles, another area power, gets word that the Solar Empire was working on a new kind of superweapon.  The Anglo Isles forces launch an all-out assault, which you must repel.  And this is only the beginning of a massive and world-sweeping plot…but who’s behind it?  Only by playing through a series of battles all over the planet will you manage to find out.

Yes, this is a third-person shooter.  You will, however, have access to a pretty nice variety of units, making this almost a strategy game at the third-person shooter level, forcing you to make decisions about which units to use in which situations.  You may need to use flamethrowers against infantry, bazookas against armor, anti-air units against aircraft, and so on.  I admit, I haven’t seen that many third person shooters involve quite so much strategy, but that’s still like saying it’s the least painful hammer to hit yourself with.

Perhaps another interesting issue with this game is that it’s uniquely well suited for the younger set.  For all the gunplay in this game, I don’t remember seeing any blood.  There are explosions, but these are really little more than bursts of color.  Enemies set on fire with your flamethrower simply fade out after a while.  I’ve heard about parents buying this game for children as young as seven despite the fact that it’s rated for teenagers.  Frankly, I’m not sure why this game rated a T myself–asides from the popgun-like effects of the gunfire there’s not much in the way of truly objectionable content here.  But that’s neither here nor there–I’d honestly say that T might be an overreaction on the ESRB’s part.

The game itself, meanwhile, is fun in a cartoony sort of way, with fairly decent sound and graphics, plus quite possibly one of the better third-person shooters I’ve played thanks to its heavy dollops of strategy and occasional humor.  You might want to take a run at Battalion Wars 2, if for no other reason than they try harder than most of the rest.

The House of the Dead Overkill Game Review–One Huge Seventies Reference

I was starting to think that the Wii was nothing but a dumping ground for massive party game packs of mini games, and then something happened to change my entire perspective.  It’s called The House of the Dead: Overkill, and it’s a whole lot more fun than I ever expected.

See, The House of the Dead: Overkill plays like a massive collection of seventies drive-in movies unified by one basic script.  You play as Agent G, aided and abetted by Detective Washington and a stripper with the unlikely name of Varla Guns, all after a madman with chemically driven plans for global conquest via an army of mutant humans and animals.  Most of the mutated humans in question look almost EXACTLY like zombies.  You’ll be chasing said madman, Papa Caesar by name, through a series of nightmarish challenges, including clearing out a plantation house of zombies, blasting your way through a prison, hospital, and carnival of the dead, and taking on horrific bloated monstrosities in a swamp.

Seriously, there’s probably enough basic fodder here to make a dozen or more direct to video splatter flicks, and they probably wouldn’t be half bad, either.  Carny alone would give me the galloping creepsies, and there have already been some pretty solid zombie prison movies.  Even The Asylum could do one right back in the day when they weren’t churning out sad retreads of blockbusters one right after the next.

The graphics are appropriately splattery, and the voice acting just screams seventies drive-in, in fact, the level of profanity in this game was probably approaching unnecessarily high levels but that’s nothing adults can’t handle.  But where this game really got me was in terms of sheer gameplay.  The Wiimote is surprisingly well placed to handle shooter games—all I could think while playing was that the Wii desperately needed a Star Trek-themed shooter. I believe that the Wiimote would make an excellent hand phaser.

Of course, there’s a down side to all this, too—if you’re not into splatter flicks and blasting zombies then you’re not going to get anything out of this game.  I happen to fall into both those categories, both loving watching other people blast zombies and doing the blasting of said zombies myself.  This game is tailor-made for people like me, but if you don’t happen to fall into the category of a horror enthusiast then it’s not going to be the game for you.  All you’ll do in this game is shoot zombies with a variety of weapons.

Speaking of which, I loved the variety of weapons in this game.  I further loved that they were upgradeable based on level performance, which provided the infusion of cash necessary to have my hardware tricked out and to get my shotgun and assault rifle and whatnot up to their highest levels.  I do somewhat resent that combo scoring seemed to be affected by my use of an automatic weapon, but this was a minor irritant at best and certainly didn’t get in the way of the game’s sheer blistering fun factor.

The House of the Dead: Overkill should provide plenty of fun and plenty of action.  Better, it’ll do that in a shooter package that doesn’t depend on you hovering above a gun barrel for once.  Excellent, smooth gameplay and fun dialogue make this one one to pick up if you’ve got even the slightest horror buff tendency.

Rayman Raving Rabbids TV Party Game Review–I Stopped Caring About Time

For those of you who enjoyed the first collection of party games known as Rayman: Raving Rabbids released to a whole host of systems, chances are you’ll also be interested in grabbing a copy of the second sequel, Rayman: Raving Rabbids TV Party, which is sadly only available on the Wii.

The plot is about what you’d expect for a game like this, where those brain-damage cases with bunny ears and horrible dental work, the Rabbids, are once again pursuing Rayman for reasons that probably only make sense to them, if they make sense to anyone at all.  From what I can tell, Rabbids were a race of extremely trusting idiots, kind and gentle, but wholly idiotic.  This left them the butt of numerous jokes, and, unable to take the abuse any longer, the Rabbids snapped, resulting in the lunatic wackjobs who beat anything and everything that comes nearby, including each other.  Anyway, due to a freak lightning strike, the Rabbids end up transported to an alternate dimension located inside a television.  Now the Rabbids have seized control of the programming and are recasting it in their own image, forcing you to play along.  The sheer parody value alone is worth the price of admission, as they’ve skewered most every TV show imaginable and several movies to bring you this game.

As is generally the case with games like this, you get a whole slew of things to do—the Rabbids have seized the entirety of cable, apparently—and you’ll get to choose the programming for the Rabbids’ new network by selecting one of several minigame choices for that day.  You might be playing music by shaking your Wiimote, or dancing (or doing aerobics) by holding it in a certain position.  You’ll shoot plungers at targets, you’ll drive a lawn mower, you’ll kill weeds, you’ll decimate towns with radioactive fire.  You’ll do literally hundreds of different things in the course of this game, and that’s what I love about it.

There is an INCREDIBLE variety here.  It is a time sink the likes of which I haven’t played since my last round of Fallout.  Seriously—I started this one last night and figured I’d play a bit this morning just to get reacquainted before I wrote it up.  I wanted a half hour…but by the time I noticed the clock again forty-five minutes had passed.

I didn’t even notice.  I lost almost an hour and I didn’t notice.

To me, that’s the surest sign of a game’s success—when I no longer care about time.  When I’m having so much fun playing a game that the clock no longer has any bearing, that’s a good game.  And that means this is a good game.  Sure, it’s simplistic. There’s no great and epic storyline here.  There’s decent sound and good graphics (for the Wii, anyway, which is always something of a laggard in graphics), and most importantly, a whole lot of fun.

Granted, if you don’t like simple games, and you crave a good story, Rayman: Raving Rabbids TV Party isn’t going to be the game for you.  You can look at the front of the box and tell it’s not going to be the game for you.  But if you want something fast and simple that’ll eat up a whole lot more time than you’ll ever see coming, then this is the game right here.

If you haven’t already had the chance to try this one, go.  Go and grab it.  This thing is downright amazing and I relish every moment.  Chances are, you will too.

New Mass Effect 2 Details

So far there haven’t been many concrete details about what’s happening for the Mass Effect sequel. Promises of revamped gameplay and a stirring storyline are far from actual news about what we’ll be seeing and whether or not Shepard survived the events of the original. Though all the biggest game announcements are waiting for E3, Bioware is drumming up attendees for their booth and general buzz about the game.

Despite the many RPG stylings of the original it remained quite heavily combat focused and the developers are promising a lot more content in this area. There’ll be more variety of weapons, including some heavier weapons systems and the ability to hinder your opponents by blowing off limbs. There’ll also be a new vehicle which they say controls better than the Mako.

There will of course be even more planets, locations and alien species to further flesh out the already detailed universe. Players will travel to a Krogan planet, an Asari planet which is compared to Coruscant from the Star Wars series and even an ‘anti-citadel’. Apparently you will play as Shepard, though it isn’t specified for how long. There’ll be familiar faces, places and items although depending on your choices major supporting characters can and will die.

The story still involves Shepard’s quest to destroy the Reapers, but additional events will involve the Cerebus corporation and its enigmatic leader. Bioware will reveal several things at E3, including the fate of Shepard, how the new travel/exploration systems will work and who you ultimately play is, meaning that even if Shepard is alive he’s not going to be your main character.

Bionic Commando Game Review–Taking Fun And Completely Destroying It

At the risk of dating myself horribly, I remember when Bionic Commando, now available for PC, Playstation 3, and Xbox 360,  was an arcade game.  Like in actual arcades.  In case you haven’t seen one lately, arcades were places where people would go to play video games.  Sure, they had video game systems at home–most of them did, anyway–but arcades were the place to go to play the newest, the latest, and the best.  They even had specialized interfaces–racing games would offer you a molded bucket seat with a steering wheel in front, and so on.  But enough of my geriatric doddering–the takeaway here is that I remember Bionic Commando when it didn’t look like a cookie-cutter of EVERY OTHER GAME ON THE MARKET.

This is a direct sequel to the original Bionic Commando, as well as to Bionic Commando: Rearmed, so of course some advancements are to be expected.  The plotline even manages to dovetail successfully with the original: ten years after the original, the “bionic commandos”, of which there were apparently more than one, are facing a sizable public backlash.  Hunted like dogs and in most cases killed, few people remember the legendary Super Joe who once saved the world. But recently, pro-bionic terrorists set off a “weapon of mass destruction” in the middle of Ascension City and proceeded to occupy the rest.  Now, it’s up to Nathan Spencer, former bionic commando, to swing in and retake the city.

Seriously—when was this giant rush started to make almost every game a shooter in which your perspective was either perched over a gun barrel or staring at some guy’s—or on rare occasions some girl’s—pixelated ass?  That may well be the biggest problem with Bionic Commando: sheer mind-numbing unoriginality.  Sure, the plotline’s great but the gameplay is so cookie-cutter as to be downright nightmarish.

The graphics and sound are just fine—if you like technical superiority in your games, then you won’t be disappointed here.  In this case, sadly, it’s just pretty wrapping over a lousy package.

Though in the end, it may be my own memories that are to blame here.  I didn’t have much fun with this game because it wasn’t the Bionic Commando I knew and loved.  Instead I got some pretty third-person shooter with some good action but some really buggy portions too.  I remember when the Bionic Arm would clamp onto nearly anything and let me swing.  I certainly DON’T, however, remember the Bionic Arm being useful in only a handful of situations, and the rest of the time, the arm simply refusing to attach.  It’s like the Delorean of bionic implants—sure, it LOOKS awesome but it really doesn’t perform all that well.  What point is there in only being able to attach onto a limited handful of surfaces?  Bionic Commando, with only a few exceptions, is basically almost two games—a shooter, and a timed button press round of swinging.

And even the timed button presses of swinging don’t always ensure success—more than once my swing indicator told me “Great Swing!”, but what that lying bastard failed to tell me was that it wasn’t good ENOUGH, as I fell into the abyss well short of where I’d intended to land.

So yes, I’m very disappointed with this second-rate retread purporting to be a sequel of a game I enjoyed so very much way back when.  Maybe my memories make me biased, but one thing’s clear, this is an unworthy successor.

Terminator: Salvation Game Review–Nice Try, But No.

It may not surprise you to find out that there’s a game adaptation of recent release Terminator: Salvation.

Oh, who am I kidding? This isn’t going to surprise anyone. I find myself asking how they can possibly sleep at night after releasing this clear cash grab of a game. Because once again, we’re going to be subjected to more third person shooter…fun…in Terminator: Salvation…the game.

They actually have a name for this kind of thing—it’s called an “interquel”, and it takes place AFTER the events of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, but BEFORE the events of Terminator: Salvation the movie. You’ll be handling John Connor, who launches into a series of missions along with a group of cohorts in an attempt to take down Skynet.

It’s hard to tell how a game such as this could ever be considered fun or satisfying as you already know EXACTLY HOW IT WILL END via the application of SHEER LOGIC. There’s absolutely no way you can defeat Skynet in this game because doing so would render the events of Terminator: Salvation the movie completely worthless. The same goes for any of the characters in the Terminator: Salvation movie that also appear in the game getting killed or otherwise taken out of the fight for any significant length of time because they’ve got to be alive and kicking to be found in the movie. See? Sheer logic just spoilered the hell out of this game.

So I’ve just proven that the plot is a complete hash of stuff you already know will happen, so what’s next? Gameplay, perhaps? In terms of gameplay, this is basically yet another in a long, long series of warmed over third person shooter crap. You’ve played hundreds of games like this—I’VE played hundreds of games like this—before, so if this is the sort of thing you like, if you can’t get enough of advance / shoot / take cover / flank the enemy / shoot / repeat, then you’ll definitely want to get your hands on it.

The graphics and sound are solid enough—I’ve always wanted the Terminator series to focus more on the shattered dystopian future that is Los Angeles of 2016, and Terminator: Salvation will definitely provide shattered landscape and cityscape in superabundance, which is reason enough to be happy. And while playing this game, I was forced to wonder, you know, why can’t we do this with a mall full of zombies? I think even I’d play that game. And for those of you who say Left 4 Dead, I’m sorry, but no. I mean ACTUAL zombies, not that ridiculous post-Romero “infected” spiel. Zombies. Shambling, flesh-eating, stupid zombies. Dead Rising zombies. ROMERO zombies.

But I’m digressing like a lunatic at this point. There IS an upshot here—they really went for authenticity for the voiceacting on this one, getting Common AND Moon Bloodgood to reprise their upcoming roles (although it’s sort of a reverse reprising) in the game. Plus, they’ll get in some pretty solid names like Kelly Hu and Rose McGowan to do some voice work here too—even voice acting mainstay Fred Tatasciore is here. That’s definitely a point in this game’s favor, alongside the incredible action.

It’s just too bad there are so many points AGAINST this game. If they’d mixed things up just a bit, given us some NEW material to work with (how about a play-as-Skynet mode?), then maybe there’d be reason to talk this game up. Sadly, there’s not a whole lot of new here, so it’s just another in a long, long, LONG series of the same old thing.

First Details On New AVP Game

The Alien and Predator franchises are the biggest sci-fi powerhouses to be created since Star Wars and Star Trek. Despite the huge let-down of the long anticipated Alien Versus Predator films, the continuing battle between the vicious aliens and the honorable predators (not to mention the humans getting caught in the middle) still delights fans.

We’re now getting the first details regarding a new Alien Versus Predator game which is being developed by Rebellion, the team who created the original 1999 classic. If you’ve played either of the other two games the overall setup won’t be surprising. Its a first person shooter with a different storyline for each species, though the events of each will swirl together and inform each other.

The marine will rely on his array of fancy gadgets and weapons to help him against the more numerous and physically superior creatures, the predator uses his own gadgets and hunting skills to survive while the alien uses stealth, superior senses and sheer single-minded fury. There will also be a three-way multiplayer mode with each species battling for superiority.

The game is a multiplatform release, with versions for the PC, Xbox 360 and PS3 all planned to release in early 2010.